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So maybe it’s not a new thing, but I saw this tonight.

If you have a young child in the house like I do, you’re probably familiar with “The Backyardigans” (Noggin TV).

In the show there are 5 characters – 2 ‘female’ (Uniqua and Tasha), and 3 ‘male’ (Pablo, Tyrone, Austin). In each episode they have some sort of adventure which takes place in their backyards (they live next door to each other). The adventures then move on to other imaginary locations — essentially playing make-believe.

This episode featured Uniqua and Tasha as the Volcano Sisters who want something – and are not about to give any hint as to what that something is. They say, “We know what we want; We know what we don’t want”. Pablo, Tyrone, and Austin are the Luau Brothers. The Brothers are trying to have a Luau, but the Volcano Sisters are continually shaking the land and are threatening to make the volcano erupt. It’s up to the Brothers to GUESS what the Sisters want.

So one of the life’s lessons is exposed … women know what they want, but the men can’t figure it out unless the women are more direct. It’s the classic men vs. women struggle of how can the man know what the woman wants?

The lesson continues …

The Luau Brothers Pablo and Tyrone are both quick to point out that they have the right answers (a giant tiki mask and a giant pearl). Each are proven wrong by the Volcano Sisters, and are ejected out of the volcano with just 1 more chance. Finally, Austin’s idea is embraced by Pablo and Tyrone. Austin wants to deliver a flower to each sister, and to invite them to their luau.

Not surprisingly, this works. The women just wanted to be invited to the luau all along. Austin is the winner.

This lesson? The loudest, most outspoken persons will always be heard first … but not necessarily with the right answers. I work with a lot of these type of people. I would categorize them as Type A personalities. Meanwhile, the ‘nice guy’ (quiet, deep thinker) formulates the RIGHT answer, but gets ignored until all hell has broken loose and everyone else is out of ideas. Why not just speak up? It’s not in the personality type. I’m this guy.

A few years ago at a leadership retreat at work we did a team building exercise where we had a group full of these Type A personalities. I actually did try to speak up, but was ignored …. what could I have known anyway? There was actually 1 person yelling shut up out loud so HE could talk. Full of himself?? I took a seat and waited. Finally, the rest of the group claimed they had the answer. When our facilitator told them that I had the answer a full 3 minutes earlier, but that they all refused to listen, it was quiet for an akwardly long time. Here again .. the nice guy wins .. but only in the end.

So don’t be afraid to be the nice guy. But, don’t be surprised if the world walks on you for it.

Here endeth the lesson.